November 23, 2016

Loving the fear (what courage is all about)

Having courage doesn’t exclude having fear. Courage is the ability to be with your fear and to take action.

We can learn to create an inner condition - a sacred space - where we are less bound by our fears. This inner space helps us to discriminate between our true desires (intuition) from the fear based wants, patterns and wishful thinking. Fear makes us rationalize: ”This is job/relationship/fill in the blank may be okay, because ”I get a decent pay” or ”I need this to feel safe” or ”Things could be worse”. Our heartfelt desires light our fire and make us feel alive. Usually they also scare the crap out of us.

We tend to think it would take so much - too much - to follow our bliss. But what if it doesn’t? What if bliss isn’t reserved just for some courageous individuals? What if I told you that to follow your bliss you only need to be able to be with your fears. And that’s a skill you can learn.

You actually might be more afraid of being happy than losing your safe and secure ground.

We think that fear is our enemy, something we need to eliminate in order to accomplish things, to be happy or to go after our dreams. Instead, fear has a life enhancing message if we are willing to listen. Fear is not a signal to stop on our tracks (except maybe when in a real, physical danger). It’s a sign that we are approaching something authentic. If we want to reach our truest desires, we need to befriend our fear and carry it on our backs to cross the threshold into whatever is calling our hearts. Fear is just an experience. It doesn’t have power over us unless we let it determine who we are.

Taking our fear by the horns is about stopping and listening to the raging monster voice in our heads that’s trying to convince us that we are taking the wrong turn (or that we are bad, failing, delusional, fill in the blank). Instead of trying to quiet the monster by incessant action, social activities, booze or some other distraction you sit with your fearful thoughts. You’ll find out that there’s another being inside of you, the one that is listening to the monster voice. It’s your innermost being. This core part of you is connected to love/life/eternal/source/god/ whatever you want to call it. It speaks with a calm, quiet voice of intuition and is always ready to serve you.

This calm core is okay with the monster voice and the fears. When you listen to this inner being, the sacred space within expands. There’s space for calmness and fear inside of you.

Sitting with your fear may not look or feel pretty. It may initially make you sweat, cry, yell and curse, and that’s okay. Being with our fear can be scary as hell. As we keep facing our fears instead of being unconsciously led by them, a deepening intimacy with our core being occurs. This deepening intimacy within encourages us to grow past our comfort zones and tap into our greater potentials. This is courage.

Fear actually shows us the means we need to act towards our desires. When you sit with your fear, focus on the need underneath it. What resources are needed to proceed? What is needed in order to maintain the connection with your calm, intuitive core self in the midst of fear and doubt? This is about recognizing that you are ultimately not your thoughts and emotions but something endlessly vaster than your human ego. The human and the core being/consciousness/love/god can - and are meant to - go hand in hand in life. The meeting happens in the safe space where both the human voice and the voice of the core self are welcome and recognized. Fear is one of the main routes to your inner sanctuary. Every time you are faced with fear it’s actually an invitation from your psyche for you to step further within to find the resources you need to grow/expand in consciousness.

Sometimes we are led by our fears. At times greatest compassion towards ourselves is to recognize that we are not ready to face our fear just yet.

When faced full on, fear alchemizes into a fuel that shows you what you need in order to go on. As you face these challenging feelings and let the fear be the fuel but not the pilot, your heart expands to receive more of what was previously blocked from your experience. More ability to act and speak according to your truth, intuition that guides you forward and the practical resources to go on, to be the authentic you, one step at a time.

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• © 2017 Anna Taipale