For a long time I believed I had to change somehow to feel at ease with myself. I believed I had to be able to get the right spiritual and psychological insights, find more self love and ”heal” in order to dance with my soul and be well with myself.
At some point, a simple realization: for as long as I keep bettering, healing and spiritualizing myself my self-perception is locked in the umworthiness game. More to heal and to fix and to spiritualize keeps coming up for that’s what I attract.
When we believe we need to keep healing and fixing ourselves, that's what we attract to ourselves: more to heal and fix
It took all my courage and some unfolding to face the fears and limiting connotations on ”love”, to accept that honouring of self is my natural state. Self-love doesn’t turn one egotistical and selfish - on the contrary. I’m not using others to validate my worth in any way for I know my worth.
Growth to me is a natural evolution; nothing to reach for as there’s nothing to grow out of. As I ceased pushing myself in any way I just gave myself permission to enjoy life as I am without having to wait for some elusive moment when I would have fixed and solved everything (it never comes).
Self-betterment is often a cover story. We keep fixing, looking for healing and spiritualizing ourselves rather than allow ourselves to be what we are and focus on what brings joy. Because then we’d actually have to face all the unworthiness, all the subconscious shame and guilt that made us bettering and spiritualizing ourselves in the first place.
For me it’s truly been one of the most challenging things ever, but also most fulfilling and liberating. Spirit is really simple. In it’s relentless compassion it’s ready to love and dance with me just the way I am right now. No need for mantras nor crystal healings, my soul doesn’t need those (altho they can be very entertaining for the human). My soul just wants to love me, right here, right now. And allowing myself just that, that’s what I talk about when I talk about self-love.